I had just finished my year at the Kaiser-Kochschule, studying under the greatest of Efenland’s culinary scholars and magirists. While I had initially intended to return to Hühnerberg for the Sommertide, my gastromancy professor recommended I search out an apprenticeship in Alta Marea, a maritime city-state in northeastern Latium. Alta Marea was a city built on stilts with vast canals and bridges stretching throughout the landscape like veins. Many exotic spices and ingredients flowed in and out of Alta Marea’s docks attracting culinary elites and scholars alike. Even the great Dario d'Ambrosio, High-Magirist and Personal Chef of the Empress of Latium started out as an apprentice for a cuisinier in Alta Marea.
I had been wandering the Culinary District of Alta Marea for days now, despite beaming recommendations from my tutors I was rejected from seemingly every restaurant and eatery in Alta Marea. “Come here, signorina!”, a plump old woman with a bulbous nose and a paisley headscarf called out to me from an alleyway. The woman, who introduced herself as Strega Agnes ran a little eatery known as “Nonna Agnes”. Agnes who insisted I called her Nonna (everyone called her Nonna), brought me in and gave me a plate of the most delicious pasta I have ever tasted. After eating my fill, I explained I was a culinary student looking to earn my keep and expand my horizons. Nonna offered me a position in her kitchen stating that her old helper, Grasso Antonio, had betrayed her trust and she had hexed him. Working in Nonna’s kitchen I was given quite a bit of creative leeway in exploring different Latin dishes and cuisine. The one rule I was commanded to obey was to never touch the large iron pot in the back of her kitchen. The pot constantly emitted sounds of fizzing and bubbling and honestly gave me quite a fright while cleaning late at night.
One night after a large supper rush, I was cleaning the kitchen when Nonna pulled me aside, “Signorina, come, come, I will teach you the truth”. She hoisted off the iron lid of the mysterious pot with a graceful dexterity unbefitting of her frail arms. Inside was a pool of boiling water despite no flame to light it. She stuck her long wooden spoon into the water and stirred while chanting the phrase “Bola, Bola, Bola”, three times. The water roiled and pasta began sprouting from the water like worms emerging from the earth. Once the pasta filled the pot to the brim, she gave three kisses and the water calmed and no more pasta emerged. This pot was the Cauldron of Similagina, the Latin Goddess of Pasta. A legendary artifact handed down to the high priestesses of Similagina, seemingly lost centuries ago. “A long time ago, in a faraway city, my old apprentice, used this pot but could not control its power, the pot overflowed and engulfed the city, the pasta slithered across the ground like snakes, strangling and entrapping the citizens. Many lives were lost that day and if it were not for the quick thinking of my sister, we would have lost the city. Raisa, you remind me of my sister, I will teach you in the ways of magia della cucina.”
Over the following months, Nonna taught me the ways of Gastromancy, the art of magical cooking. During my final days with her she gifted me a Cochleārium, a magical spoon that is a Gastromancer’s wand in performing their magic. Each Cochleārium she taught me was crafted meticulously by hand, mine was carved from a rich dark walnut wood with engraved runes and sigils lining the shaft. As a test of what I had learned, she instructed me to prepare her a dish of Pasta della Strega or Pasta of the Witch, a gastromancy dish that allowed one to divine the future. The recipe is as follows:
Ingredients:
• 4 Eggs
• 15 Milliliters of Squid Ink
• 300 Grams of Flour
• 150 Grams of Semolina
• 1 Kilogram of Squid (cleaned and cut into rings)
• 30 Milliliters of Olive Oil
• 13 Cloves of Garlic
• 200 Milliliters of White Wine
• 20 Grams of Basil
• 4 Sprigs of Oregano
• 2 Lemons (zested and juiced)
• 1 Fly Agaric Mushroom
• 5 Grams of Dried Henbane
• 100 Grams of Butter
• Salt and Black Pepper
Instructions:
First, this dish utilizes poisonous ingredients and must only be prepared by a properly trained Gastromancer who is capable of neutralizing said ingredients. To prepare the pasta first combine your eggs and squid ink until homogenous. Grind your Dried Henbane into a powder with a mortar and pestle and combine with the flour and semolina in a large bowl. Make a shallow well in the center of the flour mixture and pour in the egg and ink mixture. Kneed the mixture by hand for 10 minutes until it forms a dough, if too crumbly add more water, if too sticky add more flour. Form the dough into a ball and then let sit for one hour. then split the dough into four equal portions. Set the fourth portion aside, then flatten the three remaining portions onto a floured surface. Roll out the three portions with a baker’s pin until paper thin. Dust the rolled out dough with flour then fold loosely like an accordion. Cut the rolled dough across the folds into thin strips with your Athame. Unroll the pasta and let dry for a quarter-hour.
Prepare a fire then cast the set-aside forth portion of dough into the fire while chanting, “IO TRIVIA, GREAT GODDESS OF THE CROSSROADS, ACCEPT MY OFFERING AND SHOW ME THE WAY”. Then bring a large pot of salted water to a rolling boil. In a large frypan heat up the olive oil. Add the garlic and cook until fragrant. Then add the chopped up Fly Agaric mushroom, oregano, wine, 50 milliliters of water and cook while stirring frequently with your Cochleārium. Cook for five minutes while focusing your Æther through your Cochleārium and into the dish. Add the pasta to the boiling water and cook till al dente. Put aside 50 milliliters of the pasta water and drain the rest of the pasta. While the pasta cooks, add the squid to the pan and season with salt and pepper for three minutes. Add the cooked pasta, butter, basil, lemon zest, lemon juice and pasta water to the pan and cook for 3 minutes. While cooking stir constantly with your Cochleārium and chant “THREE-FACED GODDESS, MAIDEN, MOTHER, CRONE, THE TIME IS NOW, THE PLACE IS HERE, OPEN THE GATE AND GUIDE US”. Plate and serve. A trained diviner can foretell the future by viewing the shapes and knots of the pasta when plated. Those who consume at least a serving of the pasta experience prophetic dreams the next time they fall asleep.
Making pasta; illustration from the 15th century edition of Tacuinum Sanitatis, a Latin translation of the Arabic work Taqwīm al-sihha by Ibn Butlan.
ReplyDeletehttps://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:6-alimenti,_pasta,Taccuino_Sanitatis,_Casanatense_4182..jpg