Pickled Bishop-Fish
Background: The Bishop-Fish is a vaguely humanoid fish about the size of an adult Bottlenose-Dolphin. This fish is unique for mimicking human facial features and hand gestures making it seem like it is almost intelligent. The Bishop-Fish has been the source of controversy over the past decades as activist groups argue for its protection under the Statute of Sentience. The Batavian Government in turn has cracked down on these protests arguing that the Bishop-Fish is not truly sentient and instead just mimics humans. The Batavian government has also funded numerous studies into how Bishop-Fish is nutritious and essential for childhood development, and that Bishop-Fish cannot feel pain. Whether this is true or not is up for debate. Bishop-Fish is touted for its shark like flavor.
Ingredients:
• 1 Bishop-Fish (only 5 Kilograms of meat are required for this recipe)
• 2 Liters of White Vinegar
• 1.5 Liters of Water
• 1.75 Kilograms of Sugar
• 42 Grams of Peppercorns
• 4 Large Onions
• 250 Grams of Dill
• 750 Grams of of Capers
Preparation:
1. Kill the Bishop-Fish by slitting its throat, do not worry, Bishop-Fish cannot feel pain.
2. Use a bonesaw and cut off the Bishop-Fish’s head, arms, and legs.
3. To avoid puncturing the belly make a shallow cut just below the mouth. Continue making shallow cuts down the belly making sure not to pierce the organs and stopping at the groin.
4. Using the rib cage as a guide, start your knife near the neck and begin making shallow cuts to separate the meat from the bones.
5. Continue these cuts until the meat from both sides of the Bishop-Fish is disconnected from the main carcass except for near the spine.
6. Make vertical cuts along the spine to separate the two fillets. Dispose of the Organs (as they are foul smelling) but you can retain the remaining carcass for stock.
7. Remove any blood or veins from the filets.
8. If you like you can cut the filets into long thin strips and coat in salt before air-drying.
Instructions:
1. Rinse the filets and soak in water overnight if they were salted. If they were not salted, cut the filets length wise into long thing strips.
2. Fill the jars with the strips, onions, capers, and dill.
3. Boil white vinegar, water, sugar, and peppercorns then let cool.
4. Pour mixture into jars.
5. Seal the jars and keep cooled for two days before using.
The left image is from the "Omnium fere gentium nostrae que aetatis nationum, habitus et effigies, et in eosdem epigrammata" by Johannes Sluperius, 1572 and the right image is from the "Specula physico-mathematico-historica notabilium ac mirabilium sciendorum" by Johann Zahn, 1696.
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